My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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