Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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