Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
