I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
