I just cut my nipple shaving
he shaved USA in his pubs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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