i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
