Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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