Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
