you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
