ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
