brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
