He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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