Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
