after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
