can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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