you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
