So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
