I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up under a house in Key West
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
