I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
