walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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