I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
