Got a toothbrush?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
