at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
