i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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