I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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