Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
