And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
