If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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