I wish you could order shots online.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
