how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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