Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
