I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
