i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just gift wrapped bread.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
