i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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