Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Let's paint friendship bongs
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
