your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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