i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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