Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
