I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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