this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
