so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
