You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
