HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
