we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
