I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
