Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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