if you like me you must not know who I am
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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