I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
