Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
