Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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