the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They are going to name an STD after you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
